Welcome to the Journey

It was snowy and icy that day in a little town in northern Indiana. It was about this time of day when a little baby girl was born into this world. She was tiny, just over 6 pounds but she carried within that tiny body a story to be lived, a journey to be traveled, and a legacy to leave.

Now 63 years later as I look back on that journey there are so many blessings to count. There are memories of 44 years of marriage, 5 living children with their spouses, and 16 grandchildren. Recent music concerts and videos of children's plays remind me of the many gifts my children have and the role music has played in many of their lives. There are friends spread across the USA and into some foreign countries. I am blessed.

I have traveled to places I only dreamed as a young girl that I might see sometime in life, such as standing beneath the Eiffel Tower earlier this year in Paris, Monet's Gardens and seeing the Kukenhoff in Amsterdam in the spring with the tulips blooming, finishing off with a trip to Alaska late in the year.

I have touched the lives of some with the redemption story God has written through me. I have seen hope restored, marriages redeemed, harmful habits turned to hopeful and healthy choices and lives turned back to God. I have walked a restoration journey with others that continues to show God's plan and purpose for the life of that little girl born many years ago.

This day brings to close another year on earth and the closing of another year of my life. What will 2011 bring? Where will the journey take me this year? What will the valleys be and how high will the mountain tops be? What will the new memories be? Will I travel well with faith and hope? Will I journey with confidence that God has His plan in place? Will I be a willing traveler on the journey in the midst of disappointments and unmet longings?

My 2011 resolution is to be just that - a willing traveler believing that joy will outlast any disappointments or sadness. Welcome 2011 - a new year with a new journal waiting to record the many experiences and memories.

Do you have your 2011 journal and pen ready to record God's travel journey for you? May you travel well with hope and faith covered with joy in 2011.

What is really behind the photo?

Pictures say a thousand words but do they always speak the depths of truth and reality?

The photo on the left symbolizes the star that came to rest over the place where Jesus was born. Many thoughts come to me as I see the star and remember the many stories of that glorious night.

Pastor Brian at our church has been focusing this Christmas season on picture perfect -- or is it really?

We see so many photos depicting the birth of Jesus and see many scenes of that miraculous time such as the photo above. Was that birth place really as warm and cozy? Was it all as it's shown in the photos?

I just finished watching "The Nativity" which shows a reality much more likely for Joseph and especially Mary as this miracle unfolds from beginning to the actual birth and days following. Mary was young, frightened and subjected to ridicule from her family, friends and villagers. Marriage may well not have been her hoped for plan at that time in her life, let alone carrying a child as a virgin - a child conceived in a way never before or after in all of eternity. Who would believe her - who would walk this wild time with her - and could she commit herself to carry this story God was asking of her? A lot of difficult questions - questions I would find difficult in my lifetime.

I know the smallest bit of Mary's story. I was a young girl about to be married. I was ill-prepared for the future of joining together with another human being, to become one, and to journey together these some 45 years that have transpired since back then. I came to my marriage two months pregnant, though that was not a divine conception. I knew the ridicule of family and friends as my secret became obvious. I was frightened of many things coming quickly into my life. I wish I could say that I lived that portion of my life journey with the hope and faith Mary had.

This time of year we send and receive family photos. Everyone is dressed to coordinate and make the photo appealing. Often, professional photos are taken just for the occasion. Everyone smiles and seems happy, but is this the reality? What happened in the hour prior to the photo shoot? What's really in the hearts of those in the photo? With the state of things today, many photos show a plastic non-reality. Truth in some photos would tell of lost jobs, precarious financial situations, health issues, struggling marriages, and unrest in the hearts.

As I see people individually in my office for Life Care with Embraced by Hope I hear stories of serious struggle during this season. Things aren't as they appear, life isn't that photo of happiness and hope. Life is precarious and difficult for some.

The birth of Jesus in less than perfect conditions is really a good photo for us - a road map. Life wasn't perfect, the birth didn't happen where and when it was most hoped for, hard things weren't taken away to make life smoother for Mary and Joseph. In fact it seems an already difficult situation was made more difficult with events leading up to the birth.

I have birthed 7 babies. Each time was in the safe and clean sitting of a hospital surrounded by nurses, physicians and all the needed equipment to provide for safe delivery and health of my child. And yet I was concerned for what was to come. Mary didn't have any of that. It was enough that she was about to give birth to a baby under the best of circumstances during that time. Now she would give birth alone with her fiance to help her, a dirty animal trough to lay this child in and the swaddling clothes we see were likely the shawl that had covered her for the 4 or 5 day travel to Bethlehem. It would have been filthy at best. No sanitary conditions there.

And yet, God was there to guide and protect. The picture wasn't perfect, but God was. The situation was less than hopeful, but Hope was born that night in the midst of uncertainty and chaos.

The pictures we send out may not be perfect, or truly depict our lives all the time, but with God, our story is as He has planned it. I wonder if the photographs of my life are all in God's Book for me? The photos of my life aren't all picture-perfect, but they are God-perfect. God is writing a story and I'm walking the journey He has chosen for me and walking the journey with others.

By the way, that child born to me 45 years ago was our first-born son. And God chose to have the son born Christmas Day. It was a comfort to me, a sign from God, one of many times that I would sense that God was making my less than perfect life God-perfect. And to bring the number of our family to a close our seventh child, another son, was also born on Christmas Day! God in His unique way put His special mark on the beginning and ending of children born to us.

What's behind the photos of this holiday season for you? Are they picture perfect - likely not since we all live in a fallen world. But most importantly, can you rest in faith and hope, knowing that they are God-perfect?

Where are you God?

I've had moments in life when I struggled to find God in the
pain and disappointments of my life. Today is one of those times.

The story of another has given me opportunity to walk back through some of the scenes of my life and the choices I've made to follow God. I followed God not because I could see Him, or that He wrote His next steps for me in my date book. I followed Him because early in life I sensed His presence and felt His guidance. At that young age, I really didn't know who He was. Often in times of difficulty, I felt an urging that took me out of harm's way and into some safety. Later in life I came to know this as God's grace and protection over me.

As I've journeyed through adulthood, I have sensed His call many times and tried to follow in obedience. God has come to rescue me many times from difficult places and battles.

The photo to the right was taken by a new friend in Alaska of the beauty and serenity there. It has gripped at my heart this morning and so portrays where I am. I am trusting, though weary, I am longing, though facing some of those longings going unmet by God. I am living in reality, and struggling to stay present and hopeful. I am looking into the distance and trying to see God, as I look into the distance of this photo, trying to see the mountains on the horizon. The photo is a bit hazy and unclear. So is my life at this moment. There are tracks to follow, but I don't know where they lead. It seems desolate and void. My heart feels desolate and void.

There is a slight red haze on the horizon. Is that hope of a sunrise or Sonrise to come in my life? Or is that the sign of yet another storm brewing - a battle to be fought, a fight with Evil to try to shut down my heart and my hope.

Where are you God? The road map of my past tells me that You God will show up in Your timing with Your plan. Why is it so hard to remember that promise in the midst of the battle? When will you silence Evil for the last time? When will the sunrise truly be the SONRISE as Gabriel sounds the trumpets and You come on your white horse to end the pain of this earth. I long for the day, God. I am weary of the battle.

The Lord is my ...................many things!

The Lord is my Shepherd and so much more!

I have just returned from 10 days in Alaska. I served on a team that led a seminar called Beauty for Ashes. We held the hearts and stories of some very special people that have called Alaska home for many generations, Alaskan Native peoples from a variety of tribes across that great state. What beautiful people with such resiliency and determination to care well for the earth, to respect their elders, to cherish stories and to stand strong in the face of unspeakable adversity. There is so much I would love to share, but the following is an expansion of the 23rd Psalm. This saying was in the room where I stayed and it became my constant comforter during some difficult, but hopeful times. It goes like this...........

The Lord is my Shepherd -- that's Relationship!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures -- that's Rest!
He leadeth me beside still waters -- that's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul -- that's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness -- that's Guidance!
For His name sake -- that's Purpose!
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death -- that's Testing!
I will fear no evil -- that's Protection!
For Thou art with me -- that's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me -- that's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies -- that's Hope!
Thou annointeth my head with oil -- that's Consecration!
My cup runneth over - that Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life -- that's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord - -that's Security!
Forever -- that's Eternity!

I long for this to comfort you in your difficult times.

The Journey

Where do these steps lead? What is beyond and over the hill?

Last week was a special journey for me as I lead a group of special people on a journey into the stories of their past at SALTS (Survivors of Abuse Leadership Training) with Open Hearts Ministry.

There were breakdowns, blowouts, and heart failures along the way. And there were glorious scenes of God's beauty played out as hearts melted, understood realities and moved into new freedoms.

The setting was the Maranatha Campus on Lake Michigan and this photo is such a true picture of the week. We all came bringing some baggage and it was heavy. We all longed to leave it there in God's care. The week required a few stops at the garbage dump to leave baggage in the form of lies believed, illigitimate shame carried, and unhealthy ways of protecting our wounded hearts.

But before we could head for the dump, we had to walk a journey into the unknown. We began taking the steps we could see like the ones in the photo, and then continued to places on the journey where we couldn't see where the next steps would lead us. It required faith and a willingness to offer some trust to others.

Lies were uncovered and agreements broken. False and plastic identities to hide and protect were torn down and authentic faces appeared. Frozen hearts became alive with hope for new beginnings.

It was a special gift to enter the stories and be a journey guide for some who came anticipating the adventure. The celebration at the close of this portion of the journey was sweet, laughter rich and connecting priceless.

There are new co-travelers to join me on my journey. There are new faces in my spiritual community.

None of us know where the steps lead beyond where our eyes can see, but I continue on walking in faith that God, the One who writes my travel plan is my steady journey companion.

Where are you on your journey toward the One who wrote your life plan?

Life has been somewhat like this photo for me lately. There have been swirling dark clouds, not only in my life, but in the lives of some of my friends. Some of those clouds represent serious illness, family disruption, marital struggles, plans dashed and spiritual battle.

We aren't promised a bed of roses. What an interesting saying - what would a bed of roses really be? I'd settle for friends healed free of cancer, marriages restored, hearts opened to God's plan for them and longings met. You can have the bed of roses - I'll take the other.

But we don't always have the choice of taking either. God doesn't promise each chapter will end with the prince coming for the princess on the white horse and they live happily ever after. God doesn't promise healing. God does promise that all things will work to my good if I trust Him.

There have been some difficult moments just this past week when trust has been a real stretch of my heart. A dear friend experienced a very difficult situation earlier this week that looked out of the realm of God's fix. So much hope was dashed, and what was to be a celebration had turned to a funeral. As we cried together and prayed, there weren't words to make sense of the trauma. I mentioned the promise about God turning everything to good if we trust. We talked about having blind trust when life makes no sense. I spoke it for my friend's benefit but I struggled to see how God could turn this to anything good. It looked so tragic from our earthly stance.

God had a plan and His promise is true. He turned a funeral into a celebration with the unexpected visit of someone who had been there and could speak great hope into the dashed dreams.

I had pleaded with God earlier in the day to give me a sign that He would fulfill His promise to make things better for me and for my struggling friends. God didn't change the circumstances of my struggle or for the struggles of some of my friends, but He did show up miraculously for one and that is enough for me to begin today with blind trust. God keeps His word - not in my time line and not always with the answer that I'm sure is the right one for me, but He shows up in His perfect timing.

I see God pulling up Google on His computer and locating Georgia and eventually my house where I sit this morning asking for His presence. Right over my house - no - right over my heart is His little push pin. He's aware that I'm here.

If you go back to the photo, you can see a glimmer of Light coming up over the tree line under the dark clouds. I see that Light coming for me.

A time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to mourn, a time to hope....

A time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to mourn, a time to hope..........there has been time for all of that here in the serenity of the northwoods on our property entitled "Loonfeather Gatherings". The loons have gathered and sung to me, and there have been lots of gatherings of friends around the campfire and gatherings of thoughts of both losses and of hopes.

Soon the paddle boat and canoe will come out of the water to be washed down, dried and tucked away for another year. The frog wind sock will get a rest in the barn and the flowers will go back to Georgia. And so.............seasons. Seasons of life, seasons of rest. It has been a rest here - one I've called a sabbatical for me. There were things to laugh over, silly jokes around the campfire, antics of two fishermen coming in with stories of the "big one" that they couldn't get into the boat. Lot's of stories of potential fish...........few actual fish packages in the freezer for this winter's meals. Fishing was great but the catching was sparse this year.

There was an opportunity to cry. I didn't realize how the tears had been stored up until I began to sing along with Michael W. Smith's Worship album. "Draw me close to you" was my desire for this time of quiet. Somehow asking once again for God's closeness by song literally opened the flood gates of tears. Tears of both sadness and joy over the sale and closing of my childhood home. That chapter of my life is done, what was is no longer and what is to come is full of hope.

There was a time to mourn things that are lost, friendships, family ties, longings for things that will not come in my lifetime here on Earth, and of friends suffering illness and loss of hope.

And then there is that word - "hope". It pops up in my life so often. It's the foundation of our ministry - "Embraced by Hope". It guides me toward life, it reminds me to fight against the attack of Evil. It's the rainbow God gave me early on during this sabbatical that would remind me and carry me through the betrayal of what I thought was a good friend.

And so as I tuck away the things that stay here in the north woods, waiting for my return next year, I go back to the world I left behind with hope. Some dear friends have faced a time of waiting on God to open the door to the next chapter of their lives. As I have prayed for them and longed for God to answer their prayers quickly, I've thought back to the times God has opened new doors for Dane and me. There were new churches to pastor, new houses to make into a home for our growing family, new friends to make, moves to 16 different places and new memories to tuck away in our hearts. Each day is a new opportunity to hope. Today I prepare to leave this place with a cleansed heart, a rested mind, and hope for what God has for my tomorrows.