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It was snowy and icy that day in a little town in northern Indiana. It was about this time of day when a little baby girl was born into this world. She was tiny, just over 6 pounds but she carried within that tiny body a story to be lived, a journey to be traveled, and a legacy to leave.
Now 63 years later as I look back on that journey there are so many blessings to count. There are memories of 44 years of marriage, 5 living children with their spouses, and 16 grandchildren. Recent music concerts and videos of children's plays remind me of the many gifts my children have and the role music has played in many of their lives. There are friends spread across the USA and into some foreign countries. I am blessed.
I have traveled to places I only dreamed as a young girl that I might see sometime in life, such as standing beneath the Eiffel Tower earlier this year in Paris, Monet's Gardens and seeing the Kukenhoff in Amsterdam in the spring with the tulips blooming, finishing off with a trip to Alaska late in the year.
I have touched the lives of some with the redemption story God has written through me. I have seen hope restored, marriages redeemed, harmful habits turned to hopeful and healthy choices and lives turned back to God. I have walked a restoration journey with others that continues to show God's plan and purpose for the life of that little girl born many years ago.
This day brings to close another year on earth and the closing of another year of my life. What will 2011 bring? Where will the journey take me this year? What will the valleys be and how high will the mountain tops be? What will the new memories be? Will I travel well with faith and hope? Will I journey with confidence that God has His plan in place? Will I be a willing traveler on the journey in the midst of disappointments and unmet longings?
My 2011 resolution is to be just that - a willing traveler believing that joy will outlast any disappointments or sadness. Welcome 2011 - a new year with a new journal waiting to record the many experiences and memories.
Do you have your 2011 journal and pen ready to record God's travel journey for you? May you travel well with hope and faith covered with joy in 2011.
Pictures say a thousand words but do they always speak the depths of truth and reality?
The photo on the left symbolizes the star that came to rest over the place where Jesus was born. Many thoughts come to me as I see the star and remember the many stories of that glorious night.
Pastor Brian at our church has been focusing this Christmas season on picture perfect -- or is it really?
We see so many photos depicting the birth of Jesus and see many scenes of that miraculous time such as the photo above. Was that birth place really as warm and cozy? Was it all as it's shown in the photos?
I just finished watching "The Nativity" which shows a reality much more likely for Joseph and especially Mary as this miracle unfolds from beginning to the actual birth and days following. Mary was young, frightened and subjected to ridicule from her family, friends and villagers. Marriage may well not have been her hoped for plan at that time in her life, let alone carrying a child as a virgin - a child conceived in a way never before or after in all of eternity. Who would believe her - who would walk this wild time with her - and could she commit herself to carry this story God was asking of her? A lot of difficult questions - questions I would find difficult in my lifetime.
I know the smallest bit of Mary's story. I was a young girl about to be married. I was ill-prepared for the future of joining together with another human being, to become one, and to journey together these some 45 years that have transpired since back then. I came to my marriage two months pregnant, though that was not a divine conception. I knew the ridicule of family and friends as my secret became obvious. I was frightened of many things coming quickly into my life. I wish I could say that I lived that portion of my life journey with the hope and faith Mary had.
This time of year we send and receive family photos. Everyone is dressed to coordinate and make the photo appealing. Often, professional photos are taken just for the occasion. Everyone smiles and seems happy, but is this the reality? What happened in the hour prior to the photo shoot? What's really in the hearts of those in the photo? With the state of things today, many photos show a plastic non-reality. Truth in some photos would tell of lost jobs, precarious financial situations, health issues, struggling marriages, and unrest in the hearts.
As I see people individually in my office for Life Care with Embraced by Hope I hear stories of serious struggle during this season. Things aren't as they appear, life isn't that photo of happiness and hope. Life is precarious and difficult for some.
The birth of Jesus in less than perfect conditions is really a good photo for us - a road map. Life wasn't perfect, the birth didn't happen where and when it was most hoped for, hard things weren't taken away to make life smoother for Mary and Joseph. In fact it seems an already difficult situation was made more difficult with events leading up to the birth.
I have birthed 7 babies. Each time was in the safe and clean sitting of a hospital surrounded by nurses, physicians and all the needed equipment to provide for safe delivery and health of my child. And yet I was concerned for what was to come. Mary didn't have any of that. It was enough that she was about to give birth to a baby under the best of circumstances during that time. Now she would give birth alone with her fiance to help her, a dirty animal trough to lay this child in and the swaddling clothes we see were likely the shawl that had covered her for the 4 or 5 day travel to Bethlehem. It would have been filthy at best. No sanitary conditions there.
And yet, God was there to guide and protect. The picture wasn't perfect, but God was. The situation was less than hopeful, but Hope was born that night in the midst of uncertainty and chaos.
The pictures we send out may not be perfect, or truly depict our lives all the time, but with God, our story is as He has planned it. I wonder if the photographs of my life are all in God's Book for me? The photos of my life aren't all picture-perfect, but they are God-perfect. God is writing a story and I'm walking the journey He has chosen for me and walking the journey with others.
By the way, that child born to me 45 years ago was our first-born son. And God chose to have the son born Christmas Day. It was a comfort to me, a sign from God, one of many times that I would sense that God was making my less than perfect life God-perfect. And to bring the number of our family to a close our seventh child, another son, was also born on Christmas Day! God in His unique way put His special mark on the beginning and ending of children born to us.
What's behind the photos of this holiday season for you? Are they picture perfect - likely not since we all live in a fallen world. But most importantly, can you rest in faith and hope, knowing that they are God-perfect?
I've had moments in life when I struggled to find God in the 
pain and disappointments of my life. Today is one of those times.
The story of another has given me opportunity to walk back through some of the scenes of my life and the choices I've made to follow God. I followed God not because I could see Him, or that He wrote His next steps for me in my date book. I followed Him because early in life I sensed His presence and felt His guidance. At that young age, I really didn't know who He was. Often in times of difficulty, I felt an urging that took me out of harm's way and into some safety. Later in life I came to know this as God's grace and protection over me.
As I've journeyed through adulthood, I have sensed His call many times and tried to follow in obedience. God has come to rescue me many times from difficult places and battles.
The photo to the right was taken by a new friend in Alaska of the beauty and serenity there. It has gripped at my heart this morning and so portrays where I am. I am trusting, though weary, I am longing, though facing some of those longings going unmet by God. I am living in reality, and struggling to stay present and hopeful. I am looking into the distance and trying to see God, as I look into the distance of this photo, trying to see the mountains on the horizon. The photo is a bit hazy and unclear. So is my life at this moment. There are tracks to follow, but I don't know where they lead. It seems desolate and void. My heart feels desolate and void.
There is a slight red haze on the horizon. Is that hope of a sunrise or Sonrise to come in my life? Or is that the sign of yet another storm brewing - a battle to be fought, a fight with Evil to try to shut down my heart and my hope.
Where are you God? The road map of my past tells me that You God will show up in Your timing with Your plan. Why is it so hard to remember that promise in the midst of the battle? When will you silence Evil for the last time? When will the sunrise truly be the SONRISE as Gabriel sounds the trumpets and You come on your white horse to end the pain of this earth. I long for the day, God. I am weary of the battle.
The Lord is my Shepherd and so much more!
I have just returned from 10 days in Alaska. I served on a team that led a seminar called Beauty for Ashes. We held the hearts and stories of some very special people that have called Alaska home for many generations, Alaskan Native peoples from a variety of tribes across that great state. What beautiful people with such resiliency and determination to care well for the earth, to respect their elders, to cherish stories and to stand strong in the face of unspeakable adversity. There is so much I would love to share, but the following is an expansion of the 23rd Psalm. This saying was in the room where I stayed and it became my constant comforter during some difficult, but hopeful times. It goes like this...........
The Lord is my Shepherd -- that's Relationship!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures -- that's Rest!
He leadeth me beside still waters -- that's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul -- that's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness -- that's Guidance!
For His name sake -- that's Purpose!
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death -- that's Testing!
I will fear no evil -- that's Protection!
For Thou art with me -- that's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me -- that's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies -- that's Hope!
Thou annointeth my head with oil -- that's Consecration!
My cup runneth over - that Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life -- that's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord - -that's Security!
Forever -- that's Eternity!
I long for this to comfort you in your difficult times.
Wher
e do these steps lead? What is beyond and over the hill?
Last week was a special journey for me as I lead a group of special people on a journey into the stories of their past at SALTS (Survivors of Abuse Leadership Training) with Open Hearts Ministry.
There were breakdowns, blowouts, and heart failures along the way. And there were glorious scenes of God's beauty played out as hearts melted, understood realities and moved into new freedoms.
The setting was the Maranatha Campus on Lake Michigan and this photo is such a true picture of the week. We all came bringing some baggage and it was heavy. We all longed to leave it there in God's care. The week required a few stops at the garbage dump to leave baggage in the form of lies believed, illigitimate shame carried, and unhealthy ways of protecting our wounded hearts.
But before we could head for the dump, we had to walk a journey into the unknown. We began taking the steps we could see like the ones in the photo, and then continued to places on the journey where we couldn't see where the next steps would lead us. It required faith and a willingness to offer some trust to others.
Lies were uncovered and agreements broken. False and plastic identities to hide and protect were torn down and authentic faces appeared. Frozen hearts became alive with hope for new beginnings.
It was a special gift to enter the stories and be a journey guide for some who came anticipating the adventure. The celebration at the close of this portion of the journey was sweet, laughter rich and connecting priceless.
There are new co-travelers to join me on my journey. There are new faces in my spiritual community.
None of us know where the steps lead beyond where our eyes can see, but I continue on walking in faith that God, the One who writes my travel plan is my steady journey companion.
Where are you on your journey toward the One who wrote your life plan?
Life has been somewhat like this photo for me lately. There have been swirling dark clouds, not only in my life, but in the lives of some of my friends. Some of those clouds represent serious illness, family disruption, marital struggles, plans dashed and spiritual battle.
We aren't promised a bed of roses. What an interesting saying - what would a bed of roses really be? I'd settle for friends healed free of cancer, marriages restored, hearts opened to God's plan for them and longings met. You can have the bed of roses - I'll take the other.
But we don't always have the choice of taking either. God doesn't promise each chapter will end with the prince coming for the princess on the white horse and they live happily ever after. God doesn't promise healing. God does promise that all things will work to my good if I trust Him.
There have been some difficult moments just this past week when trust has been a real stretch of my heart. A dear friend experienced a very difficult situation earlier this week that looked out of the realm of God's fix. So much hope was dashed, and what was to be a celebration had turned to a funeral. As we cried together and prayed, there weren't words to make sense of the trauma. I mentioned the promise about God turning everything to good if we trust. We talked about having blind trust when life makes no sense. I spoke it for my friend's benefit but I struggled to see how God could turn this to anything good. It looked so tragic from our earthly stance.
God had a plan and His promise is true. He turned a funeral into a celebration with the unexpected visit of someone who had been there and could speak great hope into the dashed dreams.
I had pleaded with God earlier in the day to give me a sign that He would fulfill His promise to make things better for me and for my struggling friends. God didn't change the circumstances of my struggle or for the struggles of some of my friends, but He did show up miraculously for one and that is enough for me to begin today with blind trust. God keeps His word - not in my time line and not always with the answer that I'm sure is the right one for me, but He shows up in His perfect timing.
I see God pulling up Google on His computer and locating Georgia and eventually my house where I sit this morning asking for His presence. Right over my house - no - right over my heart is His little push pin. He's aware that I'm here.
If you go back to the photo, you can see a glimmer of Light coming up over the tree line under the dark clouds. I see that Light coming for me.
A time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to mourn, a time to hope..........there has been time for all of that here in the serenity of the northwoods on our property entitled "Loonfeather Gatherings". The loons have gathered and sung to me, and there have been lots of gatherings of friends around the campfire and gatherings of thoughts of both losses and of hopes.
Soon the paddle boat and canoe will come out of the water to be washed down, dried and tucked away for another year. The frog wind sock will get a rest in the barn and the flowers will go back to Georgia. And so.............seasons. Seasons of life, seasons of rest. It has been a rest here - one I've called a sabbatical for me. There were things to laugh over, silly jokes around the campfire, antics of two fishermen coming in with stories of the "big one" that they couldn't get into the boat. Lot's of stories of potential fish...........few actual fish packages in the freezer for this winter's meals. Fishing was great but the catching was sparse this year.
There was an opportunity to cry. I didn't realize how the tears had been stored up until I began to sing along with Michael W. Smith's Worship album. "Draw me close to you" was my desire for this time of quiet. Somehow asking once again for God's closeness by song literally opened the flood gates of tears. Tears of both sadness and joy over the sale and closing of my childhood home. That chapter of my life is done, what was is no longer and what is to come is full of hope.
There was a time to mourn things that are lost, friendships, family ties, longings for things that will not come in my lifetime here on Earth, and of friends suffering illness and loss of hope.
And then there is that word - "hope". It pops up in my life so often. It's the foundation of our ministry - "Embraced by Hope". It guides me toward life, it reminds me to fight against the attack of Evil. It's the rainbow God gave me early on during this sabbatical that would remind me and carry me through the betrayal of what I thought was a good friend.
And so as I tuck away the things that stay here in the north woods, waiting for my return next year, I go back to the world I left behind with hope. Some dear friends have faced a time of waiting on God to open the door to the next chapter of their lives. As I have prayed for them and longed for God to answer their prayers quickly, I've thought back to the times God has opened new doors for Dane and me. There were new churches to pastor, new houses to make into a home for our growing family, new friends to make, moves to 16 different places and new memories to tuck away in our hearts. Each day is a new opportunity to hope. Today I prepare to leave this place with a cleansed heart, a rested mind, and hope for what God has for my tomorrows.
While enjoying the serenity of the north woods, I enjoy feeding the birds, as does my neighbor. We both have seed feeders and hummingbird feeders. The hummingbird feeders have found my feeders adequate and have graced me with their presence. They will soon begin their long journey south to warmer weather for the winter. My neighbor has lots of chickadees and finches at his feeder. I have none. My seed is as good as his and my feeders well stocked.
I don't have the coveted little birds but................I have black birds - lots of them! I came up from the dock to a loud noise - a board meeting of black birds right in my yard. They have found my feeders and have invited their friends and family to join them.
At first just my presence frightened them off. Then they became more comfortable with me and I needed to clap my hands. Next I needed to add the words spoken with force "Shoo, Shoo!!" to the clapping. I wonder if I'm a comedy act for my neighbors as I shoo black birds out of my yard?
My time resting was being interrupted as the need to clap and yell "Shoo, Shoo!!" came more frequently. As I stood at the window washing dishes yesterday, God showed me a lesson on value. Who says the chickadees and finches are more valuable? They may be more colorful, but if I look at the shiny black feathers of the black birds when the sun hits them, I see a banquet of colors.
God doesn't see the birds as having variable values. He sees each as unique, valuable, and having a distinct purpose in the community of birds.
I took this a step further to me and my community of people. God sees each of us as equally valuable, unique and God has a plan for each of us, a life plan designed specifically for me. God has a huge refrigerator which has the photo of each one of His children on it. If I take the time to look, I'll find my photo there on His refrigerator.
I've been inviting God into my time of sabbatical. I missed His lesson in the black birds a first but I get it now. They came to my feeders for a purpose specifically for me. They are welcome to stay!
"Rain, rain go away - come again another day. This was my lament. Dane was at a delicate place in completing a project. My campfire was just about perfect for the soon-to-be enjoyed s'mores. Rain wasn't in the schedule and not a welcome addition to our plans. No, God, please - not rain - not right now. Yes, the earth does need rain - but God...........I have these plans and rain doesn't fit them well. Could you wait until another time to rain? Wah, wah, wah, on went my whining until the downpour of rain told me strongly that God intended for it to rain and for it to rain right now - despite my plans. My plans didn't coincide with God's plans and His plans were best. Hum..........are there other areas of my life when I whine at God to change His plans to suit mine?
As I sulked in my chair under the awning, a bright light caught my eye. It was a rainbow, one of the most brilliant and wide rainbows I've ever seen. I have a passion for rainbows and sunsets. I have lots of photos of gorgeous sunsets, but not many rainbows. To have a beautiful rainbow, first there must be a storm. This rainbow seemed to come right up out of the Canadian mountains and it's arc was complete, ending out over the water to the east - just as bold at one end as the other. As I grabbed my camera to capture this gift, there appeared yet another rainbow, not as bright, but there, just the same. Two rainbows, a sight I rarely see!
Dane was able to complete his project just before the rain got really heavy and there will be other evenings for camp fires and s'mores. The rain that I saw as an intrusion was God's plan to bless me and to answer my request to Him.
I've been purposing to quiet myself, listen to God's whispers to me and look for ways He is showing up in my life for me personally. God showed up through the rainbow, but first I had to trust His plan, a plan that didn't match the plan I had for the evening.
Without the rain I would have missed a beautiful meeting with Him. I purpose to continue to watch and listen for God and to look at areas of my life where I miss His gifts to me because of my resistance to His plan while clamouring for my own.
The fifth wheel is packed and ready and we will soon be on the road to our little place of serenity in the north woods. We've been going there a long time. I remember the first time I visited Sugar Island. We went with our dear friends, David and Carolyn Miller. They now own the property right next to us and Dane and David will spend hours in the coming days attempting to entice fish onto any variety of baits in their tackle boxes.
Back to that first time...........Carolyn and I each left our babies of about 9 months behind with Grandmas. David's 55 chevy had car trouble on the way up and we arrived on the island in the dark. Back then Sugar Island was lit at night mostly by God's stars which are magnificent, but not light enough for a frightened young woman whose been fed people- eating bear stories all the way up. Yes, there are bear on the island but I've yet to see one. I'm always looking the wrong way and miss them. And they tell me the moose couple and their young are much more to be feared than the bear.
Now back to that first time.......two young married couples, a tiny, tiny vintage Scotty trailer, two little babies left back home, no electricity, an outhouse for personal needs, and not near enough chocolate chip cookies to soothe the homesickness. My words as we finally left the island that year (1967) was "if I ever get off this island alive, I'll NEVER step foot on it again!"
It's now 43 years later and I've gone back often. As I re-check packing lists and to-do's for those last minute needs, I can hardly wait to return to my little place of serenity. A number of years ago, God orchestrated an opportunity for us to purchase one of the lake lots. We now have running water, electricity and a beautiful fifth wheel that contains every thing I could possibly need for camping. When our son visited us and I mentioned camping, as he sprawled out on the comfy couch, he said "OK Mom, let's get serious! This is NOT camping!" He was remembering the early days of 5 young children on the lot with no running water, no electricity, an outhouse and "joy bucket" as Dad called it in the tent at night. One year it rained so hard the tent filled with water and we woke up to soaked sleeping bags and pillows. The children loved it.... getting to fish in David's boat, our annual trip to the local Pizza Hut, the camp fires, with s'mores and pie irons and our annual trips into Canada to see God's wilderness and beauty.
So again, God has graced me with a time to rest my mind and body as I hear the loons calling and watch the bald eagles fly in and out of their nest just across the water. I'll sit on my dock, across from the Canadian mountains and create things with my hands while I rest my mind and listen to God speak His words into me. I am blessed. Little did I know that first year at Sugar Island, the story God would write through me and the love relationship that would grow between me and the island. I go again open to what God has planned for the next stories He will write through me.
And if God is generous, maybe the men will catch some fish for us to enjoy.........and if not, we'll soothe ourselves with our annual trip riding the ferry to the mainland to enjoy a cheeseburger and fries at Clydes or a triple waffle ice cream cone at the local fudge shop while we watch the big ships go through the Soo Locks on their way to the big water.
Good bye to the place that holds so many stories............. this house - the place that housed me for 16 years - will soon go on the auction block. It looks different than I remember it. That's because it's gone through a transformation over time - just like my life.
When we arrived in late July, the house looked sad. It was run down, needed a fresh coat of paint inside and out, and I don't ever remember seeing the right side of this house this open. It was always encased in weeds covering much of it's exterior. At one time the owners of the house planted flowers but over time weeds had taken up residence. Now in my garden are small patches of lily of the valley and ivy from this place - new beginnings for abandoned beauty.
Inside, the ceiling battered by leaks, had fallen to the floor and the walls which could tell story after story, needed to be recovered with new. The attic held a stench and tell tale signs of being the home of a variety of vermits for a number of years. Once the evidence was removed, and the smell eradicted, the walls shored up and things put in order, it looked hopeful - even livable.
As we pulled away from this place after a grueling and non-stop weekend of hard labor, the house seemed to smile. Someone had come alongside it to help restore it to hope and new life. As we prepared to leave, the tears began to flow. This was good bye for good for me - the closing of doors long open and at times precarious and uncertain. Now, truth, closure, new hope and new beginnings for me and for this house.
This house has been in the generational cycle of my family for over 90 years. I spoke a prayer over the house that a new family might come to write new chapters here, chapters of laughter, family games, warm and inviting meals. Maybe someone to care for the roots of flowers once planted, taken over by neglect and now offered a space to grow and bloom again. Sounds like the path of many lives, including mine....... new beginnings, new hope, and new places to grow and bloom.
As I looked into the mirror at the woman I've become the following thoughts I once read came to me..............
She danced
She sang
She gave
She created
She dissented
She enlivened
She saw
She grew
She sweated
She changed
She learned
She laughed
She shed her skin
She bled on the pages of "her days"
She walked through walls
She lived with intention
These are the days of my life and my mission to live with intention.
I had a special meeting with God a couple of weeks ago. I asked Him some difficult questions about the story He has written through my life. There are parts of the story that have been difficult to carry at times. I was railing against His plan, much like a rebellious teenager. I wanted what I wanted, how I wanted it, when I wanted it and didn't want to compromise or consider other options. God let me rant and rave. In fact I think He might have welcomed my tantrums. He says he doesn't like luke warm responses to His call. I've been giving Him too much luke warm lately. In the end when I had come to the end of myself, God came for me just as He promises.
The photo was taken by someone I didn't know. I wasn't aware the photograph was being taken. The photographer was taking a photo of someone she didn't know and she wasn't sure the subject would want this moment captured.
I am grateful that this moment was captured for me. It's me offering an apology to God for being ungrateful for His story that He's writing through me. It's a moment of deep worship for me as I had battled the Enemy of my soul, and once again I won - and God wooed me back to a deeper walk with him. When I sense resistance and struggle, I can go back to this picture and be reminded of God's promises to come for me in my deepest times of battle.
Thank you LaDonna for taking this photo. It's a gift to me - a reminder of a very sacred meeting with God on the shores of Lake Michigan.
Why is it so hard to take time for me - to do the things that will rest me, make me healthier, refresh me? I can find an entire to-do list that has priority over walking or taking time to write or just read by the ponds.
Who says we can't come first at times? Where are the lies that tell us that everything else must be in order before we can indulge in ourselves. Those are insidious lies that keep us bound to doing for everyone else while sacrificing ourselves. And really - it's not sacrifice. It's idolaltry. It's saying that to-do lists and others' expectations are more important than taking time for ourselves. Sounds like a set up for self pity.
God calls us to take care of our body - He calls it our temple. When I'm in a "temple" or fancy church, shrine, or cathedral, there is a reverence that is there for that place. When I choose not to do the right things for my body - my temple - where is the reverence? Where is hearing God's word that says care for myself.
If I continue to dismiss my personal needs, I soon begin to serve others out of emptiness. Sadly, I've learned from experience that is a dangerous place from which to serve. It can lead to harming others with my contempt, my feeling used (even though I've done it to myself!) and my resentment of those I'm serving.
So.....today I WILL walk my 1/2 hour and I will spend time floating in the pool. Yes, there is laundry to do, e-mails to answer and others to care for. But..........for a short hour out of a busy day, I'll care for myself.
In what ways do you care appropriately for yourself?
Tomorrow is a day of packing, making lists, checking the lists and preparing for a week up north. Once again I'll be at SALTS - Survivors of Abuse Leadership Training. For the past 9 years I've been a co-leader, taking our participants through a personal grace group journey to understand themselves and their story better while learning to lead others through this journey of restoration.
Restoration from what? From wounding, disappointment, unmet longings, trauma and struggles with relationships and life in general.
If you are interested, check out www.ohmin.org or check out Open Hearts Ministry in Facebook. There you will get the bigger picture of what we are called to do.
Next week is a bit of a gift for me. I will be the participant looking more deeply into my dignity and my depravity. Am I afraid? No! Am I curious? Yes! Will there be tough times, tears, a fight against shame and old lies? Yes! Will I be sad and glad? Yes and maybe both at the same time! We call that ambivalence.
What will I have heard from God by Saturday morning - a week away? That remains a mystery to be revealed by Him as the week progresses.
If past experience is any measuring stick, I'll receive warm hugs, lots of smiles, hopeful words after difficult moments, and be reminded that spiritual community is often much more safe and comforting that biological family. I'm going home in some respects to revisit friends, colleagues, fellow participants -- those I can truly be myself with, knowing I'll be held in high esteem, cared for well, held accountable in truth with grace and I will grow in areas that still need growth.
If you are curious about the process, the week, or the ministry, check out www.ohmin.org or connect with me via blog or at embracedbyhope@juno.com. That's my e-mail for the ministry I direct here in Georgia. I'd love to chat with you about restoration in your own life.
I've had a longing in the past to own a little red sports car. I do come from a racing family and have some racing blood in me. Image probably also propelled my longing. Wouldn't I look spiffy in a little red sports car!
It's a really impractical dream. I'm always carting home a tree or bush or several huge bags of mulch or dirt, not to speak of an old chair or goodie I might find discarded along the road. Where would I put any of that in a little red sports car. Also to be considered is the initial cost of such a toy, the price of insurance and the cost of gas to propel it.
On our way to the Arc d'Triumph in Paris, we encountered quite a few racy little cars in red and black in the parking garage. This one I'm standing by probably cost around $225,000. God hasn't deposited that kind of money in my earthly band account so I guess this little red number is out of the question.
Actually, I don't have that dream anymore. It was a silly one and God has been the wiser not to fulfill it.
There are other dreams and longings that God isn't fulfilling for me. Some aren't silly, inappropriate or impractical. They seem quite reasonable from my point of view. So what do I do with these unmet longings and dreams. Will I wait in hope and faith. Will I take "NO" from God with a pleasant attitude. Will I trust that He really does know what my future is and what I really need? Will I trust and live in faith while waiting on unmet longings and dreams? It can be a tough place to sit and sit well. Right now I'm sitting well. This morning I wasn't.
No, God doesn't likely have a little red sports car in my life plan. But He does have other things for me. Will I surrender my longings and dreams to Him and trust that the ones He honors are those that are best for me?
I long to! Now........that's a good longing.
This cross stands in the American Cemetery above Normandy beach and the Omaha invasion in France. The writing on the cross doesn't carry a name or rank. It says "here lies a soldier known only to God......." I was overwhelmed to find so many just like this one - unknown - only to God. I gently rubbed my hand over each one I came to as I walked the cemetery, grateful for the sacrifice of so many on my behalf.
I wondered what determination and courage it took for these young men to travel to a world they didn't know, to fight for people they would never meet, to leave behind families who would never know their final hours, to stand so valiantly for a cause they so strongly believed in.
And because of their sacrifice and the sacrifice of many like them, I live free to choose where I worship, what I will eat and wear, when I will speak and what I choose to speak, and many more freedoms that I often take for granted.
I am grateful and moved to be more conscious of the grace I live under - that which God bestowed on me and the freedoms I enjoy - bought for me by the lives of many I will never know. It's a sobering and hopeful thought.
Will I stand and sacrifice as willingly for the causes I believe in? How about you?
