As I looked into the mirror at the woman I've become the following thoughts I once read came to me..............

She danced
She sang
She gave
She created
She dissented
She enlivened
She saw
She grew
She sweated
She changed
She learned
She laughed
She shed her skin
She bled on the pages of "her days"
She walked through walls
She lived with intention

These are the days of my life and my mission to live with intention.

Teenage Tantrums

I had a special meeting with God a couple of weeks ago. I asked Him some difficult questions about the story He has written through my life. There are parts of the story that have been difficult to carry at times. I was railing against His plan, much like a rebellious teenager. I wanted what I wanted, how I wanted it, when I wanted it and didn't want to compromise or consider other options. God let me rant and rave. In fact I think He might have welcomed my tantrums. He says he doesn't like luke warm responses to His call. I've been giving Him too much luke warm lately. In the end when I had come to the end of myself, God came for me just as He promises.

The photo was taken by someone I didn't know. I wasn't aware the photograph was being taken. The photographer was taking a photo of someone she didn't know and she wasn't sure the subject would want this moment captured.

I am grateful that this moment was captured for me. It's me offering an apology to God for being ungrateful for His story that He's writing through me. It's a moment of deep worship for me as I had battled the Enemy of my soul, and once again I won - and God wooed me back to a deeper walk with him. When I sense resistance and struggle, I can go back to this picture and be reminded of God's promises to come for me in my deepest times of battle.

Thank you LaDonna for taking this photo. It's a gift to me - a reminder of a very sacred meeting with God on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Caring for myself

Why is it so hard to take time for me - to do the things that will rest me, make me healthier, refresh me? I can find an entire to-do list that has priority over walking or taking time to write or just read by the ponds.

Who says we can't come first at times? Where are the lies that tell us that everything else must be in order before we can indulge in ourselves. Those are insidious lies that keep us bound to doing for everyone else while sacrificing ourselves. And really - it's not sacrifice. It's idolaltry. It's saying that to-do lists and others' expectations are more important than taking time for ourselves. Sounds like a set up for self pity.

God calls us to take care of our body - He calls it our temple. When I'm in a "temple" or fancy church, shrine, or cathedral, there is a reverence that is there for that place. When I choose not to do the right things for my body - my temple - where is the reverence? Where is hearing God's word that says care for myself.

If I continue to dismiss my personal needs, I soon begin to serve others out of emptiness. Sadly, I've learned from experience that is a dangerous place from which to serve. It can lead to harming others with my contempt, my feeling used (even though I've done it to myself!) and my resentment of those I'm serving.

So.....today I WILL walk my 1/2 hour and I will spend time floating in the pool. Yes, there is laundry to do, e-mails to answer and others to care for. But..........for a short hour out of a busy day, I'll care for myself.

In what ways do you care appropriately for yourself?