Paradise - a fleeting illusion

Paradise – a fleeting illusion.

The waters and winds are warm under the ever-present sun. The jades, greens, blues and turquoises of the ocean and bay waters are so vivid, even Crayola can’t copy them. Life is slow, fun, full of community and activity and stress and responsibilities are greatly eased. Life is good – paradise is found… well... maybe momentarily, but true paradise isn’t here on earth.

It’s impossible to escape difficult and hurtful things. While we bask here in a temporal paradise, life’s trials go on.

Earlier this week our son stopped two robbers from getting very much of their personal belongings. We’re proud of his strength and agility to capture one. He had the other as well, but the robber’s blow to our son’s head left a gash above his eye that took 6 internal and 5 outside stitches to close the wound. We are grateful for God’s protection over him and his family and an blow to his head that missed his eye.

Missionary friends of ours live in Ecuador. Their daughter and son-in-law (Andy) and two young grandsons are missionaries in Russia. Early this week Andy fell during a hiking incident. He has multiple broken bones including a leg and ankle but his most serious injuries are massive injuries to his face. After several days of consultation and work with their insurance company, Andy has been air lifted to Turkey and underwent the first of multiple surgeries over the next week or so on his face, and other broken bones which need resetting and pinning. As parents our hearts are with Andy’s families as they pray and wait many miles away from where Andy is receiving care.

So………..yes, life is a momentary and fleeting paradise at times, but true paradise lies at the end of this earthly journey. I will savor the moments here while being ever aware that true serenity lies beyond my earthly binding.

Remembering in the darkness

Sleep didn't come easily last night. At first I felt frustration at the prospect of lying awake in the dark when my body needed rest. Then this image popped into my mind. I've been remembering memories of the past lately as I've been involved in a writing project.

This photo was taken just a year ago. I was in a country shrouded by darkness of a variety of blacks and browns. It was my honor and privilege to be there. Though I went to be an encouragement and hope, what I brought back was much more than I took. I came home with a heart full of memories that fill me yet today with encouragement and hope. I've made life long friends who reside there. I am continually moved to be more grateful, to risk more, and to look for the Light in the darkness of whatever is swirling around me today. This photo sums it up for me. Things are covered there with a darkness of man's making, but God - the Light - is coming. He's coming for my dear friends there and He is coming for me and you too!

Tuesday January 17, 2012

It’s been a month since this photo of my daughter, son-in-law and two littlest granddaughters was taken. I remember taking a photo like this years ago at Christmas with my daughter on my lap. Those years have passed quickly.

December came with all of the gatherings of family and friends, concerts, food and fellowship. It was a fast and furious month – most of it delightful. “Fast” sticks in my mind. How could four weeks have flown by already since then? Where are the minutes, hours and days going?

As I pondered the new year, I purposed to be more aware of and more deliberate with the time God is giving me. I also want to spend quality time listening to what God wants to say to me this year. Encouraged by a friend, I purchased a special journal to write some of these words. I sit in the quiet each morning, pen in hand with my special journal waiting to hear God's words to me.

I’m full of lots of words, lots of projects and ideas and a never-ending to-do list. I love being busy. To quiet myself and my mind takes deliberation. Some mornings I have to redirect my mind repeatedly to listen. At first I didn’t think much, if anything would appear on the pages of my special journal. But God is surprising me. There are words coming – some days more than others. One of the early messages from God is “Learn to be more patient. I can handle the details best on your behalf.” Yesterday’s message was silence from God. I commented back to God that I don’t feel abandoned. Instead I anticipate what God is planning for me during this time of silence. That’s growth for me. Patience, trust, faith that God is working on plans for me even when He is silent. I will continue to listen.

What was then is now.....

What was then is now...........for those of you who knew us earlier in our lives, the five little Averys have grown up. Not a lot has changed and yes, a lot has changed. The children are sitting in order of birth from right to left on the top row with Grant, Troy, Brad, with Jenna and Chad between Dane and me. The lives God has planned for our children have given us much opportunity to live large and wild. We have had many special opportunities to travel the journey with each of our children. There were the typical sports games when the children were young, the dance recitals and band and chorus concerts, lots of music lessons and performances, long hours of homework, wrestling, squabbling, differences of opinion, choices to be made, hard lessons to be learned, christian camps and retreats, busy schedules and all the things that go with raising a large family.

Now as adults, our children continue to offer us lots of opportunity to experience life with anticipation of what God will do next with all of us and through each of us. Even when life brings the struggles God allows to grow each of our children, we live in hope and faith and deeply connected to one another. I remember a time of the three older boys "skating" in our kitchen, having dumped oil, peanut butter and cereal all over the floor and sliding in the goop. I was exasperated at the time and wondered what these busy little boys would become as adults. We are proud of what they have become and will continue to be as they journey on. We are humbled at what God is creating through each of them. We are honored that God chose us to parent the five and enjoy the journey with them.

Morning is being birthed once again

I have been silent for a while. My silence has been deliberate to take time to reassess some areas of my life. I am once again in the north woods taking a sabbatical from the heat and busy schedules of back home in the south.

As a part of my time of rest I am reading Dan Allender’s Sabbath. Dan encourages us to revisit the true meaning of Sabbath and how to observe it. Dan says, “One must stand before creation in awe and with gratitude if one is to seek, taste, smell and touch God”. I long to touch and be touched more intimately by God.

I sit in the quietness of the early morning dawning over the water. The sky is breathtaking as the photo shows. In the still of the winds, morning is being birthed creating yet another day. What will this day offer? How will I be deliberate in living this day to the fullest? The routine of daily life is on hold as I rest and recreate emotional energy for the busy fall ahead. How will I use these 24 hours? Must I “do” or will I just “be.”

The quiet of the morning is broken by two loons calling in their unique and mysterious voice to one another just off my dock. God knows I love the call of the loons. I’ll accept this as His early morning “touch” to me, a reminder that whatever the day holds, God wants to walk it beside me in a wild adventure. I’m anticipating the journey with faith and hope.

What wild adventure does God want to take you on? Are you willing to be His journey partner?

Resuscitation or Resurrection

Someone shared these words with me yesterday and I’ve been thinking about them in my own life. There are places in my life where I have continued to resuscitate things -- unhealthy relationships and eating patterns, fears, poor survival dance tactics………………… I could go on but that’s not where I want to focus today.

What does resurrection of new look like? Jesus wasn’t resuscitated in the tomb. He was resurrected. Jesus and His message offered hope prior to the cross. He did good things, healing, casting out demons, caring well for multitudes and loved ones and teaching truth. These were good! After Jesus resurrected from his death, His good became Glorious, Grandiose, and Grace.

What does resurrection look like for me? It is an honoring of what has died or needs to die, and it’s a focus on keeping what’s good and bringing it to a greater life, a new life, new beginnings. Not dressing up the old, but embracing the new, offering God’s intended beauty with it.

Tomorrow I embark on "The Journey". It’s our new title for what has been called S.A.L.T.S. in the past. You can check out SALTS at our web site www.ohmin.org.

There will be need to honor what has caused emotional harm and death, and not resuscitate it, but move toward resurrection of new. New truths to replace old lies, also new ways of living and coping to replace unhealthy patterns of hiding shame and controlling life.

As I ponder those places in my life, my heart is tender to those God will place under my care next week. There will be moments to grieve with them and moments to rejoice the victories of hard fought battles to bring to new life to what was lost in the past.

Wish you were coming along – it’s going to be quite a week of Resurrection! You can journey with us by praying over me and the team. I’d love that! There have been many changes in the recent months at Open Hearts Ministry and we are embarking on lots of “new”. Evil has noticed. Would you join "The Journey" with your prayers for us, both the team and the participants coming to experience the “new” God has for all of us?

Precarious

The recent weeks have been precarious for me. Webster defines precarious as “dependent upon the will or favor of another person”. Another description is “dependent upon circumstances; uncertain, insecure”.

Some of the words don’t resonate well with me – some because they aren’t true for me and some because they are.

I have caught myself being dependent upon the will or favor of another to the point of performing in ways I hope will make others find good favor in me, to treat me with kindness, and to desire to be in community with me. This performance mode allows little space for the real me to emerge. When I am not treated with kindness and I continue to allow it, I’m exposing at a deep level what I believe my value is – not much if I allow my value to continually be challenged by the harshness of others.

Dependent upon circumstances; uncertain and insecure? As long as I’m manipulating life to have the outcome I want, I’m not exercising much trust in God to show up and write the story as He knows best.

Today is a rememberance of the death of Christ on the cross. He went there so I could live with impact and with authenticity. He took my sins with Him. But I’ve held on to some in selfishness and fear.

The person I am desiring to be dependent upon is God. I know I have His favor, even when I screw up. I don’t have to perform to receive His acceptance. He longs to be in community with me.

The circumstances swirling around me are at times uncertain and certainly insecure. What I’ve done to hide and cover that pain is a sin I need to take to the cross and leave there. My security is not found here in people or circumstances. And the hope of my future is secure. I may not yet see the title of the coming chapters of my life, but I can stop trying to flip to the last pages of the book to read the ending. I can stop dressing up my reality or manipulating circumstances to change the way the outcome appears.

I can instead live in trust that the ending will be glorious because that’s what God says I am – GLORIOUS!

As I ponder Christ’s sacrifice for me on the Cross today – my way of honoring that sacrifice is to purpose to live today and the days coming with faith and trust. God is my author and finisher and in Him I place my trust. Precarious yes, uncertain, yes, insecure – NOPE!